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Gol Khayer

Gol Khayer means eating the jaggery. This event is organized prior to the marriage. After consuming jaggery the engagement is supposed to be fixed. Normally the event is organized at the boy’s Tanda. People from both sides gather under a big tree or Mango groove outside the Tanda. The bridegroom is brought there. First a ritual called ‘Kasu Pucsher’ is performed.

"+É{É ºÉMÉÉ EòºÉ³ý +ÉxÉÆnù Uô, +É{É ¦ÉÉ<Ç ºÉä EòºÉ³ý Uô ¦ÉÉ<Ç®úÉä +ɳÆýnù ºÉMÉä®úÉä +ɳÆýnù, ±ÉÉä ¦ÉÉ<Ç Vɳý"

People on both sides first exchange pleasantries. When it is said that all relations and friends are in happy state, water is given for drinking. Discussion on other things is also held; it is called as ‘Saktar.’ The details of give and take and the date of the marriage are decided. The girl’s side says the Saktar:

"¤Éä]õÒ ¤Éä]õÒ ±ÉɨÉÉ®ú ÊnùVÉÉä, ¨ÉÉä`öÉä EòÉ¨É ºÉMÉÉ +ɺÉÉä ¨É³ýÒªÉä, EòÉä<Ç nùxÉ +ÉMÉä EòɨÉ"

Meaning: The girl should be married in a far off Tanda. It is a good experience. The relatives should be such that they must be helpful at the time of any crisis.

Saktar from the boy’s side is like this:

"BEò VɨÉnù{ÉÖ®ú BEò =nùªÉ{ÉÖ®ú, nùÉäxÉ SÉiÉ®ú ºÉÉè VÉÉhÉÆ... ºÉMÉÉä +ɺÉÉä ¨É³ýVÉÉªÉ ¨ÉÉ®ú EÖÆòb÷Ò®úÉä ±ÉɱÉÉ ºÉ³ýVÉ iÉÉä ´É³ýVÉ xɽþÒ, MÉÉ`ö {Éb÷Ò ¨ÉVɤÉÚiÉ iÉÉäbä÷ iÉÉä iÉÚ]õiÉ xɽþÒ, |ÉEòÉ®äú ºÉ¨ÉºÉÖiÉ"

Meaning: Engagement is taking place between two Tandas. Both are clever. The relations established are worth like a red diamond (Kudi). Now this relation will never break up.

In the end jaggery is distributed to all. Colour is sprayed. Everybody greets the other with a hug. Betel leaves are eaten. The groom bows and touches the feet of all. The folk songs sung on this occasion is as follows:

"{ÉÆSÉ {ÉÆSÉɪÉiÉ ®úÉVÉÉ ¦ÉÉäVÉä®ú ºÉ¦ÉÉ ¦ÉÉ<ÇxÉ ºÉÆMÉ {ÉSÉÉä®ú, BEò iÉÒ BEò ºÉ´ÉÉB Eäò iÉä±ÉÒ ®ÆúMÉÒ {ÉÉMÉb÷Ò ®ÆúMÉä SÉÆMÉä ¨ÉÖÆb÷É ®úiÉxÉ MÉbä÷®úÒ ®úiÉxÉ ºÉ{ÉÉ®úÒ SÉÆ{ÉÉ MÉb÷Éä®úÉä {ÉÉxÉ, {ÉÉxÉ Eäò MÉxÉ PɳýÉåUô ¨ÉÉxÉ ºÉ{ÉÉ®úÒ Eäò ¨É xÉÉVÉÚEò {ÉÖiɳýÒ iÉxÉ ¨ÉxÉ EòÉä VÉÉ¨É Eò¯û SÉÉ®ú ±ÉÉä½äþ Eäò ºÉÆMÉ, ]ÖõEòb÷ÒªÉÉä ¤ÉxÉ VÉÉ>ð iÉÉä SÉføÉnÖù ¤ÉÊiɺÉÉ ®ÆúMÉ, Eäò SÉÖxÉÉ ¤É]õEòÉä EòÉiÉÉä ¡ò®úEòÉä ±ÉÖÆMÉ ÊSÉEò³ýÒªÉÉ, b÷ÉäføÉ ¨ÉäEòhÉ lÉÉäb÷É {ÉÉxÉ PɳýÉåSÉ ¨ÉÉxÉ, ´ÉäiÉbÖ÷ =¦ÉÉä VÉÉxÉäiÉÒ ±ÉÉä ¦ÉÉ<Ç ºÉMÉÉ {ÉÉxÉ ¨ÉÉxÉäiÉÒ"

Meaning: The Panch-Panchayat is a court meeting of the King Bhoj. All present express gratitude towards others. We have adorned colourful turbans. We are enjoying the betel leaves; our mouths are red in colour. The Chhalia (Kaat) is from Ratangarh while the leaves are of Champagad. Leaf says, I am highly respected. Chhalia says that she is very tender in nature. I am lovingly cutting the betel nut in 4 parts. It is I who is giving red colour to your teeth. The leaf is decorated with lime, kaat, clove etc. The leaf is respected. The groom is lovingly giving us the betel leaf. This should help us in forgetting all smaller shortcomings and differences. That is what respect is all about.

The guests are treated with lunch at Naik’s place. The time of the marriage is decided on a starry night.

Saadi Taler

The ritual of ‘Saadi Taler’ is performed at the groom’s house before leaving for the marriage ceremony. A Shamiyana is erected in front of the groom’s house with leaves and branches of Jamun. The relatives and friends are invited. They gather in front of the house in the evening. A wooden stick (Kudi) is raised adjacent to the Shamiyana and a small water pot and a Saree is attached to it. It is said that the water pot moves in the direction of girl’s house automatically.

Ghota Gholer

The Panch of the Tanda (Daisane) prepare Bhang (Hemp) and Ganja. Both these items are praised in a song:

¦ÉÉÆMÉä ¨É ¦ÉÉÆMÉ ºÉ±ÉiÉÉxÉÒ ¦ÉÉÆMÉ, ½þÒ®úÉ ¨ÉÉäiÉÒ EòÒ JÉÉxÉ EòÉSÉä Eò{Éb÷É¨É UôÉxÉ ¦ÉÉÆMÉ ¨ÉÒ]õÒ xÉ ®úÉ¨É Ênù]õÒ ºÉÉäxÉä ºÉÊ®úEòÒ EòÉSÉä®úÒ ¤Éä]õÒ, SɨÉ]õÒ Eò¨É ¤ÉÒVÉÉ PÉÉä³ýÒ ±ÉÉä ¦ÉÉ<Ç ¦ÉÉ<Ç ºÉÆMÉ ¦ÉÉÆMÉ

Meaning: The people are preparing the Bhang with enthusiasm. The best Hemp of all is of Salatari village. It is situated near Udaipur and Hemp and Ganja are produced there in good quantity. Prepare it by rubbing and sieve it through a white cloth and drink it. You will feel like encountering with Lord Ram. The Hemp becomes wonderful when its seeds are crushed more. Every clan is given a potful of Hemp as a matter of respect like Rathod, Pawar, Chavan, and Jadhav etc. The women dance and sing throughout the night. The next day whole Tanda is treated with feast, it is called as ‘Taler Lunch.’ The groom is also given gift articles. It is called as Naat Ghaler. A Kulka specially prepared on the occasion is circulated with pride. Following Doha (couplet) is presented on the occasion.

±ÉÉä ¦ÉÉ<Ç ºÉÆMÉÉ ¦ÉÉÆMÉ ½þÉäEòÉ iÉÉä ½þÉäiÉÒ ¦ÉÉ<Ç SÉ±É¨É ¦ÉÉ<Ç MÉÖVÉ®úÉlÉ EòÒ iɨÉÉEÖò EòiÉ ´ÉºÉiÉÒ ®úÉiÉ EòiÉ ´ÉºÉiÉÒ ®úÉiÉ, {ÉbÂ÷ ¨ÉnùÉç Eäò ½þÉlÉ iÉÉä nÖù&JÉ ¦ÉÉMÉÉ ®úÉiÉ ´ÉäiÉbÚ÷ ½Öþ¤ÉÉä VÉÉhÉäiÉÒ, ±ÉÉä ¦ÉÉ<Ç ½þÉäEòÉ ¨ÉɤÉäiÉÒ

Saad Taler Geed

When the Saadi Mandap is erected the women sing a folk song. It is called as Mandwe Dor Geed.

iÉÉ®äú ¤ÉÉ{ÉÚ Eäò®úÉä ¨ÉÆb÷É´Éb÷Éä ½þÉ®ú EòÒªÉÉä ±ÉÉ±É iÉÉ®äú iÉÉäiÉ®úhÉ ¤Éb÷Ò SɱÉÉä Eòb÷ÒªÉÉä ±ÉÉ±É ¨ÉÆbä÷Bbä÷ ªÉä®ú ´ÉäføÉä ®úÉVÉÉ ½þÉä ±ÉɱÉ

Meaning: My father’s happiness has no bound to see the Shamiyana in front of our home. Everywhere there is greenery and looks prosperous. You are sitting under the Shamiyana. But your lover girl must be eagerly waiting for you.

Kothalo Bhar Kadher

The bridegroom along with his friend Geriya and 2-3 experienced persons starts towards the place of marriage. The clothes, ornaments and other things for the bride are filled in a special way in a bag called ‘Kothalo.’ The ritual is related to taking things out of the bag. Experienced and wise person is sent with the groom.

The attire of the groom is special. It includes, a spear in hand, panchhathyar, Katiyar, Jambai, Kothali (having betel leaves etc.), turban, barat etc. The groom comes out of the Tanda with a drummer in the lead. A little distance ahead a piece of cloth is spread on the ground. A coin of one rupee is kept on it in the name of Guru (Nagaswamy Guru). This auspicious coin is tied to the waist of the groom. After the marriage ceremony sweets are prepared by spending the one rupee and a portion is distributed to all as part of the blessings in the Tanda. All Tanda members come out to send the groom for marriage. Women sing this song:

"ZÉÖÆb÷ÒxÉ PÉÖÆb÷ɳýÒ iÉÉ®úÒ EòÉäiÉ, EòÉäiɳýÒ®äú ±ÉÉb÷É ¤ÉÉ{ÉÚ®úÉä ¤Éä]õÉ BEò±ÉÉä ÊxÉEò³ýÉä ®äú ±ÉÉb÷É {ÉÆSÉÖ®úÉä ®ú¨ÉÉä ¤ÉÉ{Éä®úÉä ¤Éä]õÉ ¦ÉÉ<Ç®úÉä ¦ÉVÉÉ BEò±ÉÉä ÊxÉEò³ýÉä"

Meaning: The son is going to the marriage alone with a colourful Kothali. The Tanda blesses you. Get married right now and come back early.

The women express the feelings of groom as follows:

"ºÉÖxÉÒ ´ÉÉb÷Ò ±ÉɱÉÉ ÊxÉEò±ÉÉä, ´ÉÉä ½þÒ {É{ÉÒªÉÉ ±ÉɱÉÉ bä÷b÷®úÒªÉÉä VÉä ±ÉÉb÷É {É®úhÉäxÉ ÊxÉEò³ýÉä, ½þÉä]õÉä ªÉÖ EÖÆò +É=Ä BEò±ÉÉä ¨ÉÉ®úÒ ºÉɺÉÖVÉÒ ºÉÒ ±ÉMÉMÉÒ {ÉÒ®úiÉ"

Meaning: The big house (haveli) has fallen silent since you left. The girl’s Tanda will become alive because of you. You have started for marriage and the Koel is singing the song. Your mother must be waiting for you. How I can come back alone? The relation with my mother-in-law has become more intact.

After touching feet of all he returns to his mother. The mother puts her hand around his neck and cries loudly. The atmosphere in Tanda becomes serious because earlier the marriage was like an act of bravery. The brave groom had to prove himself physically and mentally at the time of the marriage. He used to go to the marriage with all the arms. All the expenses of the marriage were the responsibility of the bridegroom and he faced all the events that occurred during the ceremony. There is a famous story in history. The younger brother of Raimal, named Kanji had been killed at the time of the marriage ceremony. Raimal defeats the enemy and brings home the bride after completing the marriage ceremony. This event is recalled in every marriage ceremony. In the same way Gora-Badal indulge in a battle to protect the Queen Padmini. Badal was just 12 years old that time. He was also engaged and gets killed while fighting the enemy. This tragic incident is recalled at the time of sending the groom for marriage and tears roll down the eyes of the Tanda members.

Kothalo Gharem Layer

The groom reaches the Tanda of the girl along with a leriya and 2-3 experienced persons. They halt in front of the Tanda. A message is sent and the father of the bride, brother and women of the Tanda come to the groom with water. The women sing a following song:

"VÉÆMÉÒ føÉä±É ´ÉVÉÉiÉÉä, +ɪÉÉä®äú {É®úhªÉÉ ¦É®úÒ ºÉÖiÉÒ ËxÉnäùxÉ VÉMÉÉb÷Éä* ±ÉÉb÷É ®ú¨ÉiÉÒxÉ +ÉxÉ ´É`öÉbä÷®äú ±ÉÉb÷É iÉÖ ¦É±ÉÉä +ɪÉÉä {ÉɨÉhÉÉå* iÉÉÆbä÷xÉ JÉÉb÷Éä®äú ±ÉÉb÷É"

Meaning: The groom has arrived in the Tanda with the drummer. He has awakened the whole Tanda. What game you are going to play? You are going to make us cry? It is good that the light is spread everywhere. Give the groom a seat. We don’t have a cushion, now where should we ask the guests to seat? The foreigner has arrived in the Tanda, welcome the guest.

The girls give water for drinking to the groom and welcome him and tease him through this song:

"´ÉäiÉbÖ÷ +ɪÉÉä ´ÉÉbä÷ ´ÉÉbä÷iÉÒ +Éä®úÒ ¦ÉäxÉäxÉ ¨Éä±É +ɪÉÉä ¦ÉÉbä÷iÉÒ ´ÉäiÉbÖ÷®úÒ ¦ÉäxÉ EòiÉ®úÒ Uô? nùÉä ½þÉ]õ MɪÉÒ nùÉä PÉÉ]õ MɪÉÒ nùÉä PÉMÉb÷É ±ÉäEò®ú ¦ÉÉMÉ MÉ<Ç ´ÉäiÉbÖ÷ ´ÉɪÉÉxÉ +ɪÉÉä iÉÉ®úÒ ªÉÉb÷ÒxÉ ±Éä EòÉxÉÒ +ɪÉÉä"

Meaning: The groom has come from far to Tanda clandestinely. How many sisters do you have? Two (of them) have gone to market; two to forest and two have ran away. You have come alone for marriage, haven’t you brought your mother?

This way the groom comes to Tanda along with the drummer and others. First he stops at the Naik’s house, takes tea and then goes to the bride’s house. This ritual is called as ‘Gharem Layer’ i.e. Kothalo Gharem Layer. The groom is received inside the house. Dancing and singing programme is arranged in the night. Groom sits in the courtyard along with his friends. Leriya never leaves the groom alone. He follows him day and night. He facilitates for smooth completion of the marriage ceremony by remaining calm and behaving properly in all activities. He is responsible to carry out the ritual of give and take. It was a very difficult task in earlier times because it is said that the marriages were going on for 6 months.

Dhawalo

The method of teaching how to cry to the new bride is called as Dhawalo. For this various songs are used. The aged and experienced women of the Tanda teach her this method of expressing the feelings in the heart through crying. When the marriage is over the girl embraces her father, mother, brother and other relatives and expresses her feelings through crying. It is called as ‘Maler.’ This custom of Maler is deliberately taught to the bride. It is taught in the evening of 2 days prior to the marriage till the ceremony is over. There are expressions to be used for a particular person while crying. The persons also cry on the occasion.

Ghotar Haat

Prior to the marriage marketing is done for the Tanda on behalf of the groom. It is called as Ghotar Haat. The material and vegetables purchased are distributed in all homes. Concoction of Hemp is prepared in the evening. Naik and Karbhari are given a bottle of wine each. Also in order to please the reigning deity and all relatives a goat is killed for the feast. A lot of wine and hemp is consumed. The purchasing day is thoroughly celebrated by the Tanda. On the next day marriage takes place. Gor marriage ceremony comprises a lot of dancing and singing, jokes and cries, games, worships, different rituals and customs. They go on till midnight. After that the actual marriage ceremony takes place. It is called as Phera Pharer.

"ªÉä ´ÉÒ®äúhÉÉ ½Æþ ½þÒªªÉÉ... ªÉä ´ÉÒ®äúhÉÉ EòɳýÒ EÖòb÷ xÉÒ®ú¨É³ý ¦É®úÉä®äú ´ÉÒ®äúhÉÉÆ VÉä ¨ÉÉÆ<Ç xÉÉxÉÒ ¨ÉÉä`öÒ ¨ÉÉSɳýÒ Uô®äú ´ÉÒ®äúhÉÉÆ ½Æþ ÁÉ... ªÉä ¨ÉÉÆ<Ç ÊZɨɮúÉ VÉɳýÉä ¡äòEòÉä®ú ´ÉÒ®äúhÉÉÆ +Éä ¨ÉÉÆ<Ç xÉÉxÉÒ ¨ÉÉä`öÒ ¨ÉÉUô³ýÒ ¡ÆònùÉMÉÒ ®äú ´ÉÒ®äúhÉÉÆ VÉÚÆ iÉÉ®úÒ ¦ÉäxÉb÷Ò ¡ÆònùÉMÉÒ ®äú ´ÉÒ®äúhÉÉÆ ½Æþ ÁÉ..."

Meaning: Oh, my dear brave brother, the way in which pure water is filled in a small black pond and big and small fish are playing in it, a fisherman spreads his net in the pond. The same way the Zimara (groom) has thrown a net here. All fish are caught in it. And your beloved sister is also entangled in it. Now what to do?

The feelings are expressed in the form of symbols in the song. The fish are helpless in the absence of water. This way she gets the right to cry.

After this vermilion is applied to the forehead of the groom. A sign of Swastika is made on his back with sandal paste. It is a proof of they being Aryans. It is called as ‘Sakya Purer.’ In the evening Tilak (spot) is applied on the forehead of the sister. She is called as ‘Nawaleri.’ After the dinner the custom of ‘Mehendi Pisser’ follows. The young girls from the Tanda grind turmeric and mehendi to make a paste to be applied to the groom and bride and sing a song:

"¨ÉénùÒ nù³ý ¨ÉénùÒ nù³ý ªÉä ½äþ ½äþ ±ÉÉb÷É... ±Éä®úÒªÉÉ {ÉèºÉÉ näùiÉÖ EòÒ xÉɽþÒ®äú... ±Éä®úÒªÉÉ ¨ÉénùÒ Ê{ɺÉÖ EòÒ xÉɽþÒ®äú... ¨ÉénùÒ VÉÖ iÉÉ®úÒ ¦ÉÉ<Ç ¦ÉÉäVÉÉ<Ç nù³ýMÉä VÉÖÆ iÉÖ nù³ý±É ½äþ ½äþ ±ÉÉb÷É... ½þ³ýnùÒ Ê{ɺÉä EÖÆò´ÉÉ®úÒ EòÊxɪÉÉ ´ÉÉäxÉ näùJÉäxÉ +ɪÉä +É±É¨É nùÊxɪÉÉ"

Meaning: Let us grind the mehendi. Leriya, will you give money for this work or not? Speak out, should we grind the mehendi or not? We are following the old tradition of Mehendi grinding. The young girls have come to grind the Mehendi and the whole world has gathered to see them. The girls also tease the bride.

"UôÉä®úÒ ´ÉäiÉÒiÉÒ ¤ÉføÉ<Ç ¨ÉÉ®úiÉÒiÉÒ... SÉÉ±É UôÉä®úÒ ªÉä MÉÉäb÷ªÉÉxÉ MÉÉäb÷É lÉÒ PÉÉ±É ¤Éä`öÒ"

Meaning: She was a big talker when she was small. Now she has stuck to the groom.

Angholi (Bathing):

A canopy is erected in front of the bride’s house and four mud pots are placed at 4 places. Small branches of ‘Aakh’ tree are kept in the pots. A big piece of wood (Musal) is buried in it. The groom is then given a bath prior to the marriage. A custom of ‘Dosakya Phoder’ is performed. Other rituals include Kanen Kakara Lagayer, Choteer Pali Piyar, Wakeladi Pujer, Musaleti Marer, and Chor Angholi Karer etc. They go on for at least an hour. Then both the bride and groom are seated in front of the musal in the courtyard. Four married couples sit in the four corners around the bride and groom and the ritual of ‘Doral Bandher’ is performed. A raw thread of 7 layers is made and tied around neck and collar of the bride and groom. A special song is sung on the occasion. Same song is repeated at the time of removing the thread.

Saptapadi (Seven Steps)

In this ritual the groom leads and the bride follows him. Her friends or any experienced woman accompany her. Keeping the ‘Musal’ in the middle ‘Saptapadi’ is performed. Brahmin priest is not present in the marriage. A person from Wadatiya lineage ties the knot of the bride and groom. The atmosphere becomes serious. Other women sing the Dhawalo song and the bride simply makes an ‘amm hiyaa’ sound filled with sorrow. The Saptapadi song is like this:

"BEò ´Éäb÷É ¡ò®ú±É ±ÉÉVÉ, ¤Éä]õÒ {ÉÆSÉä®úÒ... nÖùºÉ®úÉä ´Éäb÷É ¡ò®ú±É ¦ÉäxÉ ¦ÉÉ<Ç®úÒ... ÊiɺɮúÉä ´Éäb÷É ¡ò®ú±É xɳÆýnù ¦ÉÉäVÉÉ<Ç®úÒ {ÉÉSÉ´ÉÉä ´Éäb÷É ¡ò®ú±É VÉÉäbÚ÷ iɨÉÉ®úÒ UôÉä¨ÉÉä ´Éäb÷É ¡ò®ú±É ±ÉÉb÷É iɨÉÉ®úÒ ºÉÉiÉ´ÉÉä ´Éäb÷É ¡ò®ú±É ªÉäiÉbÖ÷ ¨ÉÉ®úÉä..."

Meaning: Take the 1st round by honoring the limits of the panch of Tanda. Second round is for mother and father. Third round in front of brothers and sisters, fourth one in the honour of sister-in-laws. On the fifth round I have become his wife. After the 6th round now my fate and my womanhood is all yours. The bride goes round till 6th time in a stuttering manner. In the 7th round she accepts the groom and completes it without shyness. The night passes this way. The women remain awake with the bride. The ancient tribes of Gujrath had this custom.

"SÉÉèlÉÉ ¡äò®úÉ ¡ò]õ±Éä ±Éä ±ÉÉb÷Ò ¨ÉÉ±É VÉÒ®úÒ hªÉÉ®úÒ UôªÉä ¡äò®úÉä ¡ò®ú Eäò ±ÉÉb÷Ò +¤É ½Öþ<Ç {ÉføÉ<Ç {ɽþ±Éä iÉÒxÉ ¡äò®äú EÖò±É nèù´ÉiÉ Eäò ½þÉä´Éä ½èþ"

Chudo Tiper

The bride is given a bath in the morning of the 3rd day. She puts on bridal attire on the same day. After taking the bath she sings Dhawalo song and awakens all.

"ºÉÖiÉÉä Eò VÉÉMÉÉä®äú* ¨ÉÉ®úÉä xÉMÉ®úÒ®úÉ xÉɪÉEò ¤ÉÉ{ÉÚ... iÉÉ®úÒ xÉMÉ®úÒ¨ÉÉ ¤ÉÉ{ÉÚ ´ÉEòÉä {Éb÷ÉäSÉ®äú... iÉÉäxÉ EÖò +É´Éä ¤ÉÉ{ÉÚ {ÉÉiɳäý Éä±ÉÉ®úÒ PÉä®úÒ ËxÉnù ½Æþ... ½þÓªªÉÉ..."

Meaning: O Bapu (Naik), of my village, your village (Nagari) is in danger and how you can be in a deep sleep?

Tanda awakens still the bride has not stopped crying. She sings further:

"ªÉä {ÉÉ´ÉÉä ¡òÉ]õÉä ¡òMÉb÷Éä ½ÖþªÉÉä®äú ±ÉÉä±É, ½Öþ<Ç {ÉÊiɪÉÉ®úÒ ºÉ®ú³ýÒ ªÉä ´ÉÉ]õ"

Meaning: It is morning now, what shall I do? Now my husband can exercise his right.

After this all ornaments of her girlhood are removed. She cries loudly saying not to remove the beloved ornaments.

"ºÉÉlɳýÉä ¨ÉÖÆMÉÉ ¨ÉÉä±ÉÉ®úÒ nùÉ¨É SÉÖEòÉ<Ç, MÉ®úiɳýÒ ¨ÉiÉ iÉÉäb÷Éä Éä®äú®úÒ Éä®úÉ<Ç, MÉ®úiɳýÒ ¨ÉiÉ iÉÉäb÷Éä ½Æþ ʽþªªÉÉ... ¨ÉÉ®äú EÖÆò´ÉÉ®äú {ÉhÉä®úÒ ÉÉä¦ÉÉ, ¨ÉxÉSÉ ®äú½äþnùÉä ºÉÉÆlɳýÉä ½Æþ ʽþªªÉÉ... nÖùvÉÉ vÉÉä®úÉ<Ç {É]õb÷Ò, ¨ÉxÉ UôÉäb÷Éä ¨ÉÉ®úÒ ½ÖþºÉÒ ¦ÉÉ´ÉVÉä®úÒ ½þÉiÉä®úÒ ´É³ýÉƺÉÒ {É]õb÷Ò ¨ÉiÉ UôÉäb÷Éä ½Æþ ʽþªªÉÉ... ¨ÉÉ®äú Ê´É®úÉ®äú ½þÉiÉä®úÒ MÉ®úiɳýÒ, ¨ÉiÉ iÉÉäb÷Éä ½Æþ ʽþªªÉÉ..."

Meaning: Only unmarried girls wear an ornament called Gartali. She says to her friend that I have purchased this ornament from my money from the famous city so don’t break it. It is a decoration of my virginity. It is mine. My sister-in-law has made its design with love. Don’t open it.

In the end she is made to wear ornaments like Ghugari, Nakadi and bangles ivory.

Dorlo Chhader

A thread of 7 layers (Dorlo) is tied around the neck and collar of the groom and the bride. Now both of them remove the thread from each other’s neck and collar. This song is for this occasion:

"®úÉªÉ¨É±É EòÉÆVÉÒ®äú ½þÉlÉä®úÉä b÷Éä®úhÉÉå EÖò UÖô]äõ ±ÉÉb÷É... iÉÉ®äú ¦ÉÉ<Ç ¦ÉÉäVÉÉ<Ç®äú ½þÉlÉä®úÉä b÷Éä®úhÉÉå EÖò UÖô]äõ ±ÉÉb÷É..."

Meaning: A reference to Raimal Kanji is given earlier. He started the custom of tying the 7 threads. We don’t understand how to remove this sacred knot of thread. The thread tied by brother, sister-in-law and aunts and uncle showed how to be removed.

This custom of Dorlo Chhoder is still practiced by the tribals in Bundi Kota region. There is a song in Gujrat sung at the time of Saptapadi, tying the thread, removing and the Maand Ramer.

"¤ÉvªÉÉ B nùÒlÉÒ ½þºÉ MÉÉ`ö ½þÉäb÷Éä xÉɽþÒ JÉÖ±Éä iÉÉ®úÉä ´ÉºÉÖnäù´É iÉÉ´É vÉäb÷É´Éä UôʴɱÉÉä Eònù¨É vÉÖ]äõ ´ÉHò"

These customs are part of the Aryan tradition. In the afternoon a bathing ceremony in the open is performed. The women try to push the groom and make him fall from the Chouki (Seat). The groom uses all his skills and with the help of Geria does not allow himself to be pushed on the ground. Then both the bride and groom play a game of ‘Maand Ramer.’ Here also others test the skills of both of them. As a last ritual of the marriage ceremony ‘Goth’ is performed in which a goat is sacrificed and all the Tanda members are given feast on behalf of the groom. ‘Goth’ is a type of worship done to please the ancestors.

Bhar Kadher

All the belongings of the bride are kept in a specially made big bag. It is called as ‘Taangadi.’ Normally it is kept on the back of an ox. All the items are filled in it. First of all the bride is brought out of the house and groom follows her. The ‘Taangadi’ is kept in the courtyard. The groom sits near the Taangadi facing east while the bride on the West side facing her house. They face each other. The father of the bride is given 5 oxen as dowry. Out of them a young ox is given back to the girl. It is called as ‘Dejur Balad.’ That particular ox is decorated like that of a ‘Pongal’ ox. The bride requests the ox through a song: ‘My dear Doliya why you are standing here like this, run away…’

"PÉb÷Ò ªÉä Eäò UÖô]õVÉÉ®äú ¨ÉÉ®äú ¤ÉÉ{ÉÖ®úÉä b÷Éä³ýÒªÉÉ... iÉÉäiÉÒ UÖô]õÉä ½þÉ®úÉ VÉ´ÉÉ®úÉ ®äú, ¨ÉÉäiÉÒ UÖô]õÉä ¨ÉÉ®ú ¤ÉÉ{ÉÖ®úÉä ¨É±ÉEò®äú PÉb÷Ò ªÉä EòÉ ®úɺÉb÷Ò iÉÉäb÷®äú, iÉÉä ¨Éb÷É´ÉÖÄ SªÉÉ®úÒ {ÉMÉä¨ÉÉ ¯û{ÉÉ ¨ÉÆb÷É´ÉÖÄ ºÉÉäxÉä iÉÒ iÉÉ®äú ˺ÉMÉ, PÉb÷Ò ªÉä EòÉ ®úɺÉb÷Ò iÉÉäb÷®äú"

Meaning: My dear Doliya (name of the ox) break the rope and run away. Now you will not get green grass from me anymore. Why don’t you run away for some time? Otherwise they will send me to my in-laws. If you run away I will tie silver rings in your feet, I will decorate you…

Haveli

The bride is made to stand on the back of an ox while giving her farewell from her parent’s house. She slightly removes the cloth from her face and tries to fill her heart with a deep look at her father’s haveli and the Tanda.

"½þ´Éä±ÉÒ ªÉä ½Æþ ʽþªªÉÉ UÖô]õ ¨ÉiÉ ¨ÉiÉ VÉɪÉäºÉ, ¨ÉÉ®äú ¤ÉÉ{ÉÖ®úÒ ½þ´Éä±ÉÒ ½Æþ ʽþªªÉÉ... ½Öþ¤É ´ÉÖ iÉÉä ½þÉiÉ xÉ {ÉÖ®ú, ¤ÉäºÉÖiÉÉä ºÉÉäªÉ EòÉäºÉä®úÒ ´Éɳý xÉ ±ÉÉMÉ iÉÉ®úÉä ®úÉVÉ, +ÉUôÉä JÉÉnùÒ +ÉUôÉä Ê{ÉnùÒ UÖô]õ ¨ÉiÉ... ´Éb÷±ÉɺÉÖ ´ÉnäùºÉ, PÉÖ®ú±ÉɺÉÖ ¡ò³äýºÉ ˱ɤÉb÷ɺÉÖ ±Éä®äúºÉ ®úÊhɪÉÉ®úÉä ®úhÉ EòÉä]õ ªÉä ½þ´Éä±ÉÒ ½Æþ ʽþªªÉÉ..."

Meaning: My dear Haveli, please don’t forget me. You are the tallest Haveli of my Naik Bapu. You are so tall; I can’t touch you in a standing position. If I sit down you thwart any stroke of a strong wind. I salute you and I bless you that may you grow like the Banyan tree, may you blossom like the Gular tree, be green like the Neem tree and protect the brave. And don’t forget me.

After she takes a last look at the Haveli and the Tanda she is brought down from ox’s back and she meets everybody (Maler) and expresses her feelings when they bless her. This is the most emotional moment of the ceremony. They bless her with tears in their eyes. First of all she embraces her friends and says:

For Friends:

"ºÉÉlɳýÉä ½Æþ ʽþªªÉÉ... VɱɨÉä®úÒ VÉÉäb÷Ò iÉÖ]õÒ SÉɱÉÒ ªÉä ½Æþ ʽþªªÉÉ... {ÉɳýÒªÉÉxÉ VÉÉiÉÒ iÉÉä, PÉb÷Ò nùÒ PÉb÷Ò ±ÉMÉÉ näùiÉÒ ½Æþ ʽþªªÉÉ nùÉäªÉxÉ VÉÉiÉÒ iÉÉä, PÉb÷Ò nùÒ PÉb÷Ò ±ÉMÉÉ näùiÉÒ ½Æþ ʽþªªÉÉ ¤ÉÉ{ÉÖ EäòxÉ {ÉÉäºÉÉä ªÉÉb÷Ò EäòxÉ {ÉɳýÒªÉ... EÖò³Æý ¦ÉÉäMÉ ¦ÉÉäMÉ ºÉ¯ûJÉ®úÉVÉ ½Æþ ʽþªªÉÉ..."

Meaning: When we fetched water or went for cloth wash we enjoyed it for hours. The parents have brought you up and now who is there to enjoy it all?

Brother’s Wife (Bhabhi):

"¦ÉÉ´ÉVÉÉä ½Æþ ʽþªªÉÉ... ¨ÉÉ®úÒ ±ÉÉb÷Ò ¦ÉÉ´ÉVÉÉä ½Æþ ʽþªªÉÉ +ÉÆMÉ näùJÉÖ UÖô iÉÉä, `öɱÉÉä `öɱÉÉä ±ÉÉMÉSÉ... ±ÉÉ®ú näùJÉÖ UÖô iÉÉä ¦É®úÉä ±ÉÉMÉUô, ¦ÉÉ´ÉVÉÉä ½Æþ ʽþªªÉÉ... +É{ÉhÉÒ ±ÉÉb÷±ÉÒ xɳÆýnäùiÉÒ, ]õɳýÉä ¨ÉiÉ JÉÉ´ÉVÉÉä ½Æþ ʽþªªÉÉ..."

For Brother:

"Ê´É®äúhÉÉ ½Æþ ʽþªªÉÉ... ¨ÉÉ®úÉä ¨ÉÉ®ú´ÉÉb÷Ò Ê´É®äúhÉÉ ½Æþ ʽþªªÉÉ... ´ÉÒ®úÉ iÉÉ®úÒ ºÉÉ`ö Ê´É®äúhÉÉÆ iÉÉ®úÒ ¦ÉäxÉ Uô Eò®úxÉ, +Éä³ýÒ ´ÉÉ]õ Eò®úxÉ ºÉÖnùÒ ´ÉÉ]õ Eò®úhÉ, ºÉÉä EòÉäºÉ xÉ BEò EòÉäºÉ Eò®úhÉ +ɪÉäºÉ ʽþªªÉÉ... VÉxÉÉ näùJÉÖ VÉxÉÉ iÉÉ®úÒ ¨ÉÖ®úiÉ, ½þÉ®únù +É´É®äú Ê´É®äúhÉÉÆ ½Æþ ʽþªªÉÉ..."

Meaning: Oh dear brother, please hide me in your sixty-hand long turban. I am your sister, please come to meet me however difficult it may be for you. I may be living at a long distance still you must come to meet me. I cannot forget your face; your memories will be always with me.

"¤ÉÉ]õÒ {ÉɳýÒ®ú +ɺÉÉ ¨ÉiÉ Eò®ú"

Meaning: I don’t want to eat anything, just want to meet you.

For Father:

"¨ÉÉ®úÉä ¤ÉÉ{ÉÖ®úÉä ½Æþ ʽþªªÉÉ... ¨ÉÉ®úÉä ®úÉVÉ´ÉÉb÷Ò ¤ÉÉ{ÉÖ®úÉä ½Æþ ʽþªªÉÉ... iÉÉƤÉÉä VÉÖ xÉ´É VÉÖ xÉ´ÉÒªÉÚÄ ¯û{ÉÉä VÉÖ iÉ{ÉÒªÉä VÉÖ iÉ{ÉÒªÉÖ Ê½þªªÉÉ iÉ®úÒ ¨É iɨÉxÉäxÉ, +Éä³ý¨ÉÉä EÖòhÉÒ +ɪÉänÖù ¤ÉÉ{ÉÖ®äú ½Æþ ʽþªªÉÉ... ʺÉEò nù ¤ÉÉ{ÉÖ ÊÉEò nù®äú iÉÉ®äú ÊÉEäòxÉ ¤ÉÉÆvÉÖ Uäô´É]õÒªÉÉ®úÒ MÉÉ`ö ½Æþ ʽþªªÉÉ... Uäô´É]õÒªÉÉ UÖôbÚ÷ VÉɽäþ iÉÉä ¤ÉÉÆvÉÚ Ê½þ´Éb÷ÒªÉÉ®úÒ MÉÉ`ö ½Æþ ʽþªªÉÉ... +ÉäxÉEò UôÉäbÚ÷ iÉÒSÉ iªÉÉè½þÉ®ú ªÉä Bäb÷Ò®ú Eò¯û ¤ÉÉ{ÉÖ ¤Éäb÷Ò®äú, Eòb÷ÒªÉÉ®ú Eò¨ÉÉxÉ ®äú iÉÉä<Ç iÉÉäxÉ +Éä³ý¨ÉÉä EòÉähÉÒ +ɪÉnÖù ¤ÉÉ{ÉÖ®äú ½Æþ ʽþªªÉÉ..."

Meaning: My dear, Bapu, please give me advice, I will tie it in my cloth or keep it with my heart. I will accept all sorts of hardships like the metals melting due to heat. I can even pass through the whole of the needle. I will abide by all the traditional customs but will not bring shame to your name. Please bless me and give your teachings. I will remember this advice in all festivities.

For Mother:

The bride embraces her mother and rests her head on mother’s chest and weeps till she almost faints.

"ªÉÉb÷Ò ªÉä ½Æþ ʽþªªÉÉ... iÉÉäxÉ EÖò UôÉäbÚ÷ ªÉä ªÉÉb÷Ò ½Æþ ʽþªªÉÉ SÉÉÆnùÉ ºÉÚ®úªÉÉ®úÒ VÉÉäb÷Ò VÉÖÆ ¨ÉÉ ¤Éä]õÒ®úÒ VÉÉäb÷Ò ½Æþ ʽþªªÉÉ... ÊEòb÷Ò ¨ÉÖÆMÉÒ ºÉ{ÉÉiÉÒ, {É®ú iÉÉ®úÒ ¤Éä]õÒ EòÉähÉÒ ºÉ{ÉÉiÉÒ ½Æþ ʽþªªÉÉ... ˱ɤÉÖ xÉÉ®ú³ý ´ÉEòMÉä VªÉÚ iɨÉÉ®úÒ ¤Éä]õÒ ´ÉEòMÉÒ ªÉÉb÷Ò ªÉä ½Æþ ʽþªªÉÉ... iÉÉ®úÒ ¤Éä]õÒ ]õÉ±É ¨ÉiÉ JÉÉ´ÉVÉÉä ªÉÉb÷Ò ªÉä ½Æþ ʽþªªÉÉ..."

Meaning: How can I take your leave, mother? Our pair was like the sun and moon. You have given refuge to even small creatures in your house. Don’t you have a place for me? Was I a liability for you? Why you are sending me away? You have sold me like the lemon and coconut sold in the market. Oh, mother, don’t send me away.

The farewell ceremony goes on for almost 2-3 hours. Then the bride along with the Taangadi is taken some distance ahead. Now the groom is brought out of the house along with the band. He touches feet of all and takes blessings. Relatives also embrace each other and take leave. Groom takes blessings from mother-in-law. She puts her hands around his neck and requests him in a song:

"¤ÉÉ{ÉÖ®äú ¨ÉÉ®úÒ xÉEò³ýiÉÒ ¤Éä]õÒxÉ ½Æþ ʽþªªÉÉ... ºÉÉè MÉÖhÉÉ Ê´ÉªÉiÉÉä, iÉÉ®äú JÉÉä³äý¨É PÉɱÉäºÉ ®äú ¤ÉÉ{ÉÖ ½Æþ ʽþªªÉÉ... ºÉÉ®úÒ MÉÖhÉÉä {Éä]äõ¨É PÉɱÉxÉ ºÉ¨ÉÆnù®ú Eò®ú±ÉäºÉ ®äú ¤ÉÉ{ÉÖ"

Meaning: I have handed over my daughter to you. She is young and ignorant. Please forgive her if she misbehaves due to ignorance. You are wise; your heart is as big as the ocean.

Some friends of the bride, experienced old person, her aunt etc. only few people accompany the Taangadi. When they reach the groom’s Tanda the procession stops. Men and women of the groom’s Tanda come to welcome them and bring water to them. On this occasion women from both sides sing songs and try to outwit each other with different expressions. The guests are provided water and the ‘prasadam’ of one rupee coin of the Guru is distributed to all. Then the couple is brought inside the Tanda with the band. The Taangadi stops for some time in front of the groom’s uncle’s house as a matter of respect. After having tea there Taangadi reaches groom’s house and a ritual called ‘Mundo Dekhar’ is performed. The wife of Naik has the honour to perform this ritual. She brings water in a pot, gifts a coin of one rupee to the bride and removes the cloth from her face see it. Women sing on this occasion:

"Ênù´ÉÉä ±ÉMÉÉxÉ näùJɱÉÉäxÉÒ ½þÉä ªÉä EòɳýÒ Uô Eò MÉÉä®úÒ Uô..."

Meaning: Put on the light and see whether she is black or white.

The groom brings the bride in his home. Young girls shower grains of rice on the couple and welcome them. The younger brother of the groom is given in the lap of the bride for 7 times. (Continued...)

For Next Part, Please Click Here: Book: Motiraj Rathod-12

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